Tag Archives: Successful
Successful people tend to have very positive inner dialogues.
They know how to nurture their own personal growth. They believe they can do whatever it is they set their mind to. But most of all, they believe in themselves.
If you look at the differences between those who achieve their goals and those who fail, what you’ll usually find is a lack of self belief. Those who fail tend to plan for failure.
There is something to be said about the relationship you have with yourself–and the way you encourage (or discourage) your actions. If you are overly critical every step of the way, chances are, you’re going to lose your motivation to keep trying.
The key is to be patient, positive, and understanding of the process.
Over the years, I have interviewed hundreds of CEOs, executives, serial entrepreneurs, and successful individuals–for written content, and also my own learning. And I have found, time and time again, that successful people all tell themselves these 7 things on a daily basis:
1. “I will figure it out.”
People who succeed don’t plan for failure.
Instead, they plan for obstacles. They know there will be challenges. They know they will need to find their own solutions. So, instead of planning on dealing with defeat, they master skill sets that prepare them for the worst.
They tell themselves, over and over again, “I will figure it out. No matter what.”
And they do.
2. “Everything in the world was built by people no smarter than you.”
This Steve Jobs quote has become a mantra for successful people all over the world.
Those who achieve their goals don’t see the world as fixed, or set in stone. They see it as malleable, constantly moving, ready to be disrupted by the next great idea. And they see themselves as the person fit for the job.
The moment you realize that the world around you was made by other people just like you–people who woke up one day and decided to start working relentlessly toward their vision–is the moment you’re able to take full control over your life.
3. “Never mistakes. Only lessons.”
People who achieve big things in their lifetime operate under the assumption that in every mistake is a lesson.
They don’t get bogged down making themselves feel bad for a misstep. They don’t punish themselves for doing something wrong. They take everything in stride, in order to keep moving in a positive direction.
Calling something a “mistake” is almost counterproductive.
Call it a lesson instead.
4. “Work hard to know what you don’t know.”
There is a misconception that all successful people are egotistical, or “have it all figured out.”
The truth is, most very successful people are the complete opposite. They are extremely open, ready and willing to learn–always on the lookout for the next thing they don’t know.
This is such an important distinction between those who achieve short-term success and those who are able to sustain it over long periods of time. Success is all about being aware of your next weakness, the next thing you can improve.
And in order to do that, you have to know what you don’t know.
5. “Forget your competition.”
While there is absolutely something to be said for keeping tabs on your competitors, I’ve found the most successful individuals to be hyper focused on their own direction and where it is they feel they need to go.
Reason being, focusing on your competition for too long can cause you to be distracted. You end up making decisions based on someone else, rather than questioning what would be best for you, your team, your company, etc.
Successful people forget their competition.
6. “Take the time to get it right in the beginning.”
This is a phrase a mentor of mine, fellow Inc columnist Ron Gibori, said often. He’d say, “There is always time to get it right in the end, when everything has fallen apart. So make the time to get things right in the beginning.”
I find that most successful people work very, very hard in the beginning of projects, engagements, deals, etc., to make positively sure every single element is on track. They know that if they take the time to get things right from the start, they don’t have to put out fires half-way through.
It’s all about attention to detail.
7. “Never forget why you started.”
Again, I am constantly surprised by people who have achieved massive amounts of success in their lives, and how connected they are to the beginning of their journey. They remember where they started. They remind themselves often why they got into the business they’re in. Their motivation comes from a love for growth, not necessarily the achievement of an end goal.
In order to maintain long-term success, this is a crucial part of the process. You have to remember why you started down this road in the first place–and do everything in your power to make sure you never forget it.
1. Don’t complain.
Instead, model the ability to pick yourself up in the face of setbacks. According to Stephanie Marston, psychotherapist, consultant and co-author of Type R: Transformative Resilience for Thriving in a Turbulent World, children learn resilience when they see their parents being agents of change instead of passive complainers.
2. Let kids climb trees and handle sharp objects.
According to a study published in Evolutionary Psychology, risky play–the kind where someone actually could get hurt–is good for kids. Researchers suggest that the fear kids experience when climbing at great heights, being near a cliff or handling a knife keeps them alert and careful and teaches them how to cope with potentially dangerous situations. And over time, mastering such scary situations has an “anti-phobic” effect which results in lower levels of anxiety overall.
3. Limit the use of electronic media, especially in the evening.
Researchers analyzed the sleep quality of 530 German three-year-olds and found that the kids who consumed higher amounts of electronic media had more problems with sleep, including resistance going to sleep, sleep anxiety and sleepiness during the day. Plus, other researchers have found that the brains of little kids can be permanently altered when they spend too much time using tablets and smartphones. Specifically, the development of certain abilities is impeded, including focus and attention, vocabulary, and social skills.The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says children younger than 18 months should have no screen time at all, other than video-chatting. For kids ages two to five, it recommends limiting screen time to one hour a day. For older kids, it’s a matter of making sure media doesn’t take the place of adequate sleep, exercise, and social interaction. The AAP also says parents should make the dinner table, the car, and bedrooms media-free zones.
4. Read to them.
Researchers at the New York University School of Medicine have found that babies whose parents read to them have better language, literacy, and early reading skills four years later before starting elementary school. And kids who like books when they’re little grow into people who read for fun later on, which has its own set of benefits. That’s according to Dr. Alice Sullivan, who uses the British Cohort Study to track various aspects of 17,000 people in the U.K. “We compared children from the same social backgrounds who achieved similar tested abilities at ages five and 10, and discovered that those who frequently read books at age 10 and more than once a week when they were 16 had higher test results than those who read less,” she writes for The Guardian. “In other words, reading for pleasure was linked to greater intellectual progress, in vocabulary, spelling, and mathematics.”
5. Make them work.
In a 2015 TED Talk, Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of How to Raise an Adult and the former dean of freshman at Stanford University, cites the Harvard Grant Study, which found that the participants who achieved the greatest professional success did chores as a child.
6. Let them fail.
According to Dr. Stephanie O’Leary, a clinical psychologist specializing in neuropsychology and author of Parenting in the Real World: The Rules Have Changed, failure is good for kids on several levels. First, experiencing failure helps your kids learn to cope, a valuable life skill. It also provides them with the experience which helps them to relate to peers in a genuine way. Being challenged also instills the need for hard work and sustained efforts, and also demonstrates that these traits are valuable even without the blue ribbon, gold star, or top score. Over time, children who have experienced defeat build resilience and are more willing to attempt difficult tasks and activities because they are not afraid to fail. And, rescuing children sends the message that you don’t trust them. “Your willingness to see your child struggle communicates that you believe they are capable and that they can handle any outcome, even a negative one,” she says.
7. Be a role model for fitness.
High achieving adults consistently make exercise a priority and if you want your children to grow up fit and active, you need to practice doing it yourself. Researchers at the University of California conducted a study which found that girls who perceived their parents exercised at least three times a week were about 50 percent more active than girls with sedentary parents.
8. Don’t tell them they can grow up to be anything they want.
According a survey of 400 teenagers, conducted by market research agency C+R Research, young Americans aren’t interested in doing the work that will need to be done in the years to come. Instead, they aspire to be musicians, athletes, or video game designers, even though these kinds of jobs only comprise 1 percent of American occupations. In reality, jobs in health care or in construction trades will be golden in future decades. Why not steer them into well-paying professions in which there will be a huge shortage of workers?